What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do men cheat on their wives with someone extremely unattractive?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

How can you tell if someone or someone's is trying to recruit or at least test you for a secret organization?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why do some children hate their parents?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why is our generation so unhappy?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

How did it feel to take your first gay BBC?

TEXT:

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What do you think of Vance using a clip of an embarrassed teenager from almost 20 years ago in an attempt to bully Kamala Harris?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why is blood sugar ranging from 70-180 in a day and checked through a glucometer?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Overthinking is killing me day-by-day. What should I do?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Microsoft Copilot flaw raises urgent questions for any business deploying AI agents - Fortune

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Can you explain the difference between an ego, soul, mind, and consciousness?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …